


Broken Hero

by Bisexual_Dragon



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Barry Whump, Barry has a panic attack, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Leonard Snart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5874385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Dragon/pseuds/Bisexual_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry sees someone he hasn't in three years. Someone he had been trying so hard to forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Hero

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: none graphic rape, past sexual and physical abuse  
> Also this is the product of being sick for 3 days straight and sleep deprivation so please ignore mistakes. I will go back and edit later.

Everyone is broken. In some way or another everyone has that one thing that they don’t talk about. They don’t show it to the world because if they do then it just proves that they’re nothing but weak. It’s easier to hide it. To smile and go along as though nothing is wrong. Some are more broken than others and some are able to work through it all and get closure. Some people won’t talk about it, they're the ones that are usually the most broken. They bury it down and forget about it until something brings it up. They hide what they feel and what broke them. Even from themselves. To protect themselves.

Barry can’t hide from it anymore...

It was a normal day for Barry.

He was going to stop at the coffee shop that was on his way to work and then he’d finish up the few reports he had to do. The night before he had stopped a heist that the Rogues had planned, though it was more like they just wanted to cause some mayhem for awhile out of sheer boredom, and in a couple days he’d hear from his boyfriend after the heat from the cops died down. Which meant, barring any metahumans attacking the city, he and Iris could go and see the new _Star Wars_ movie that night after they were both done at work.

What wasn’t normal was when he walked out of the coffee shop and saw _him_. It had been about four years since he had seen that...that man and he still looked exactly the same. Brown hair, blue eyes, strong jaw, and a cocky smile.

Barry felt sick to his stomach as he watched him. Watched the way that he laughed as he talked on the phone with someone, the way he smiled, and the way he just seemed so carefree. It wasn’t right. He looked so happy like nothing was wrong in the world. Like he hadn’t caused Barry so much pain.

The speedster gulped but couldn’t tear his eyes away from the man. Suddenly he looked up, as though he could feel Barry staring at him. His brown eyes connected with Barry’s green. He smiled. He _fuck_ ing smiled. And then he was trying to make his way across the street to Barry.

Barry started to panic then, he couldn’t talk to him. _No, no, no, no!_ He looked around for an escape route. At that moment a bus came down the road and as it passed Barry used his speed to get out of there.

In a second he found himself back at his apartment with the door locked tightly behind him and he was soon staggering into his and Len’s bedroom. As soon as the bedroom door was closed behind him too he crawled underneath the blankets and hid there as he tried to keep from having a panic attack.

It wasn’t working.

Barry was shaking and his heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn’t breathe! Images kept dancing in front of his eyes as the memory of so much pain and blood came flooding back into his mind's eye.

-

Iris was worried.

According to her father Barry hadn’t shown up for work and now he had missed their movie plans? That wasn't like him. Yeah the guy was late all the time but the movie had already started and Barry had been so excited to see it. The guy loved _Star Wars_ almost as much as he loved his boyfriend. Which was saying something considering whenever Leonard was around he and Barry were like some bad Rom-Com.

So with no other choice she went to Barry’s apartment and knocked on the door. “Barry? Are you there?” she knocked harder but still there was no answer. “Barry?” She sighed when there was again no answer. Iris reached into her purse and took out her spare key. “I’m coming in so you better be decent!” She unlocked the door and walked in.

Iris walked into the small apartment and looked around. Everything seemed fine but something just felt...off. She shut the door behind her and walked further into the apartment. There were no signs of Barry being here but as she got closer to the bedroom door she heard it. Panicked sobbing and whimpering.

Eyes wide and fear beating at her chest Iris opened up the door to find Barry curled under the blankets shaking. “Barry?” She dropped her bag and rushed over to her best friend. When she tried to place a hand on his shoulder he shied away from her. “Barry it’s me, Iris.” she said. Hearing her voice so close to him must have penetrated the panic he was experiencing because he moved over just the tiniest bit and allowed Iris to climb up on the bed next to him. As soon as she was settled down on the bed she pulled her friend over and took the blanket off his head. She made him rest his head in her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. The motion was something that seemed to always calm him down. “What happened?” she asked.

Barry continued to lay there shaking and Iris just knew he was crying even as he kept his face hidden from her. “I saw him,” he said.

Iris’s hand stilled for a moment in his hair before she continued to run her hand through his hair. “What did he do?”

“N-nothing,” he said. “H...he was on-on the other si-side of t-the street. Wh-when h-he saw me-me I-I ra-ran away.” He was shaking so badly still as he cried.

“Oh, Barry.” She hugged him tightly. “Do you want me to call Leonard?” she asked.

He shook his head frantically. “No!” he said. “I-I haven’t t-told Len about….about him.” He clenched his hands tightly. He didn’t want Leonard to think he was weak. If he knew what Barry had let happen to him then he would leave him.

Iris, bless her heart, seemed to know exactly what Barry was thinking. “Honey Leonard wouldn’t think any less of you. He’s gonna be pissed, but not at you. He’s gonna be pissed at what happened to you and maybe a little mad you didn’t tell him sooner but he would never think any less of you.” She ran her hand through his hair once more. “Please let me call him.”

Barry was quiet for a while before he reluctantly nodded.

Breathing a sigh of relief Iris leaned down and kissed Barry’s forehead. “I’ll be right back.” She got up and went to her purse to get her phone. After she had found out Leonard and Barry were dating she had demanded to meet him and, to her surprise, she actually liked the guy. He was cold but he was affectionate when it came to Barry, even if it was subtle. In the end the two had ended up with each others number because they both knew Barry was the kind of person that would try and hide something from the both of them.

The phone rang a couple times before the line on the other end was picked up. “Snart.”

“You need to come home today,” Iris told him.

“Why?”

Iris bit her lip. How much should she tell him? It wasn’t her secret to tell, it was Barry’s, but she needed to get Leonard to come back. After some internal debate, she finally settled on being vague. It would make the man worry but she couldn’t betray Barry’s trust. “Something's happened with Barry,” she said. “He's not hurt but...you really need to get back here.”

It was quiet on the other end. “I’ll be there in an hour.”

Iris breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll be here.” They hung up and Iris went into the kitchen where she made Barry some tea. She hoped it would help him calm him down.

And hour later she was still sitting on the bed with Barry. He had stopped crying, finally, but he was still shaking and wrapped in the blanket as she told him about her day at work to try and distract him. Barry tensed at the sound of the door opening but she just ran her hand through his hair to calm him down. “It’s ok, it’s just Leonard.”

A second later said the man appeared in the doorway and he took one look at his boyfriend curled up in a little ball on their bed. He turned concerned questioning eyes to Iris as she stood up and went to walk by. “He’s been like this all day,” she whispered to him.

“What happened?” Leonard asked.

She shook her head. “I can’t tell you, it’s not my secret to tell. Just...ask him about Nathan Presley when he’s calmed down.” She patted his shoulder, grabbed her bag, and then left the room after saying goodbye to Barry.

Leonard shrugged off his parka and toed off his shoes before climbing into bed with his boyfriend. He pulled Barry into his arms and held him tightly as he tried to calm him down. He didn’t know what had brought this on, he’d never seen Barry like this and that scared him. Something he would never admit to. “It’s ok Barry.” he said. “Whatever happened it’s going to be ok.” He pulled Barry over until he was resting his head on Leonard’s chest and he had an arm around the smaller man’s waist and the other took Barry’s clenched hand in his own.

“I-I’m so-sorry you h-had t-to come back so-so early.” Barry stuttered. Usually, after pulling a heist he and his Rogues would disappear for few days so that the heat would die down. It was safer for everyone that way.

Leonard shook his head and held Barry tighter. “You don’t need to be sorry. I’ll always come back when you need me.” He kissed the top of Barry’s head and the hand that was around his waist started making soothing motions to try calm Barry down. “Sleep now, we’ll talk in the morning.”

  
It took some more coaxing but eventually Barry did fall into a fitful sleep. It wasn’t the best sleep, it was plagued by nightmares all night and Leonard didn’t sleep. He kept watch over Barry and whispered words of comfort into his ear whenever he began to show signs of distress. By the time that Barry was sleeping soundly it was five in the morning. When Leonard was sure that Barry would sleep peacefully he let himself fall into sleep as well.

A few hours later Leonard woke up to an empty bed. The side where Barry had fallen asleep was still warm and he could hear the scarlet speedster moving around in the kitchen. That was a good sign. Barry liked cooking for them, saying that it helped calm him down when he felt out of sorts.

  
Leonard walked out into the kitchen to see Barry at the stove putting chocolate chip pancakes on a plate and the scent of bacon was floating through the air. Seeing his boyfriend like that made him smile. There was still stress in the lines of his body but he didn’t seem panic-y. “Feeling better?”

  
Barry looked over his shoulder and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. It was quiet for awhile, the only sound being the radio that Barry had playing. Finally, the silence seemed to get to Barry as he put the bacon on its own plate and turned to face Leonard. “Go ahead and ask, I know you want to.”

  
“Who is Nathan Presley?”

Barry looked down at the counter top for a long while. “My...my ex,” he said quietly. “We dated a few years ago and things...they were pretty bad.”

Leonard just watched the way that he fiddled with his hands.

“He...he uses to...to...to hit me.” he finally admitted quietly. It was so quiet that had he not been listening so intently Leonard may not have heard it.

“He hit you?” he asked he needed to be sure he had heard right.

Barry nodded. “Yes.” His hands continued to fidget in front of him. “I...I stayed with him for a little over a year before it...before he almost killed me.”

Leonard clenched his jaw together and his hand clenched at his side. He had to take a few calming breaths before he could ask. “What happened?”

Barry looked at him with wide wet eyes and started talking.

-

_Barry had experienced a lot of pain in his life. From the day his mother died all he had was pain and anger swelling within him. Now it was just so much pain. So much pain as Nathan fucked into him without a care to Barry’s comfort. Not that he cared, or had ever cared, about Barry being comfortable._

_Today though, today seemed like he was trying very hard to cause Barry as much discomfort as possible. He let out a pained whimper at a particularly hard thrust and his hands tighten in the bed sheets below him. He bit his lip to keep from begging Nathan to stop. It never worked. It only made his ordeal worse._

  
_When it was finally over Nathan collapsed on top of him, the larger man crushing Barry’s smaller one. It was getting harder to breathe the longer Nathan lay on top of him. Finally, finally, he rolled off of Barry and finally the smaller man could catch his breath. “Go and clean yourself up,” Nathan grunted as he got comfortable._

  
_Barry dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom where he avoided looking into the mirror as he washed the cum and dried blood from himself. This wasn’t the first time that he had done this and so he performed the task of cleaning himself up and bandaging his wounds. The whole process took him maybe twenty minutes and soon enough he was back in bed with Nathan. He climbed back into bed and curled up into a little ball on the edge of the bed in an effort to be as far away from Nathan as possible._

  
_The next day Barry went through the motions of work and hiding his injuries and faking his smiles to everyone. When the day was over he ended up having to take some of his reports home to work on while he made dinner. Barry had to be back at his apartment by five every night otherwise Nathan wouldn’t be happy. And keeping Nathan happy was safest for Barry._

  
_Barry was cooking dinner as he worked on his reports. It was the best option for him really but he knew if Nathan caught him he’d be in trouble but it was impossible to get everything done before he got home without multitasking. He would just have to hope he got done before Nathan got home._

  
_He should really stop hoping for things._

  
_Nathan came home an hour early that day. He took one look at Barry’s work spread out over the table and the half finished dinner on the stove. His lips twisted unhappily and Barry automatically dropped his eyes to the floor and he backed as far away from the man as possible._

  
_Then the beating started. Nathan was so angry. So much more than usually. Barry just stood there and took it like usual, but when the knife came out Barry started to struggle. Nathan had never used a weapon other than his belt on him before._

  
_He tried to fight back, really he did, but Barry wasn’t that strong and Nathan was so much bigger than he was, and so much stronger too. The searing hot pain he felt in his stomach was staggering and he fell over, knocking over the plates he had set out on the table._

  
_As his vision faded to black the last thing he saw was Joe forcing the door to his apartment open and Iris standing that far behind her father._

-

“Th-they got m-me to-to the hospital j-just in time.” Barry finished. He barely registered the fact that Leonard had him wrapped in his arms and that he was shaking once more. “I-I saw him o-on the street yesterday and...and I just...I couldn’t…” he couldn’t finish speaking as he felt tear clog his throat.

Leonard tightened his arms around Barry. “Why isn’t he in jail?”

“His father. Hi-his dad is some fancy lawyer that got h-him out of all-all charges and ma-made the whole thing go a-away.” Barry felt himself curl deeper into the safety of his boyfriend’s arms. “I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t tell you be-before.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Leonard said. “I wish you had told me but I understand how hard it can be to talk about this.” He carded his fingers through Barry’s hair. “He won’t hurt you again. I promise you that.”

Barry nodded but didn’t make a move to get out of Leonard’s arms. It was safe there. At least that’s how it felt and he didn’t want to give that up right now.

About a week later there was a news report about how Nathan Edward Presley Jr. and Nathan Edward Sr. had been killed in a car accident. Apparently, on the way to the courthouse, the breaks of their car had just stopped working and they had crashed, the Presley Jr. had died in the hospital due to...complications in surgery.  
It the break lines of the car had been tampered with no one could tell.

-

The night that Barry had heard the news he slept peacefully for the first time since he’d seen Nathan on the street.

There were no nightmares and he was actually able to get a good night’s rest.

Leonard watched Barry sleep that night, a small barely there smile on his lips. Barry was safe. He knew that there would be much greater threats to the kid as time went on and he continued fight for the side of good but that didn’t mean Leonard wasn’t going to try and protect him from what he could. Barry had so much light inside of him, he didn’t need the darkness that some people carried around to taint that.

He knew he himself wasn’t a good person but Barry thought he was, and so he would try and be the person Barry saw. Besides, he was far too selfish to let the kid go. For as long as Barry would have him Leonard would be there. He would be there to protect and help him as much as he could.

The criminal leaned down and kissed the hero on the forehead. “I love you.”


End file.
